This is it, the end of a long and often fraught road to Bart Man. Last week’s episode put a cap on the often lopsided and increasingly strange police procedural that always felt in peril of being canceled. Well, now that the axe has come down at least we get to see a real-ass Batman story.
The episode opens with Bruce on a ship bound for … a farmer’s market in Echo Park? Oh, it’s actually Nepal. Bruce does some voiceover telling Alfred that he’ll return when Gotham needs him and then we fade to 10 years later in Gotham and Jim Gordon’s mustache. And yes, I laughed out loud at the mustache. Gordon tells the mayor, a returning Richard Kind, that he’s retiring and, oh yeah, Penguin is about to get out of Blackstone. There’s some exposition about Bruce Wayne returning to Gotham for the opening of Wayne Tower and everyone’s like, “We can’t believe you’re quitting!”
Guess who has new hair? Barbara! She’s got big ol’ head full of red hair. She’s far less uh … intense than she was for the last five years, but I guess that’s what a decade of being a tycoon will do to you.
Meanwhile in Arkham Asylum, Edward Nygma is giving some exposition to all the nutzos in the joint. Penguin’s getting out, duh, Jeremiah’s a vegetable, and they’ve both been imprisoned for about a decade. Nygma stabs Jeremiah in the leg, which makes the guards bag and tag him before a strange, female orderly ushers Jeremiah out of the main cell.
If you like exposition, then you’ll love this! At home with Doc Gordon nee Thompson, Jim shaves his mustache and has a glass of wine while discussing all the things that have changed in Gotham, specifically Selina. She’s no longer the teenage thief we know and love, now she’s a cat burglar who’s got Mission Impossible-esque laser-dodging skills and for some reason likes to remove her mask when she’s halfway through a job. Oh and she’s being played by a different actress and someone is watching her through a window and it’s probably Bruceman.
More exposition you say? Fine! Nygma escaped from Arkham and Bullock is on the hunt. He’s waylaid in an apartment by a guy who hands him a phone. The mystery person on the phone tells Bullock that he has to carry out some mystery task and then the guy that handed Bullock the phone shoots himself in the head. We’ve finally started our episode of Gotham.
Later, Bullock tells Gordon that he killed the guard (he didn’t!) and refuses to say anything about the phone call, even if it lands him in Blackgate. Gordon doesn’t believe that Bullock is guilty and he puts a tail on Penguin, and gives some vague orders to the rest of the cops. Why am I so invested in this? There’s no more Gotham! It’s as if its impermanence makes it compelling.
Nygma wakes up in an empty basement and finds a trunk full of C4 with a letter from Penguin that says, “Hey, you do you.” It’s a nice gesture from an old friend. I mean, OH MY GOD WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO DO!?
Speaking of Penguin, he’s released from prison dressed in a purple suit and monocle that’s similar to what he wore in Batman ’66. On his way to his car, he realizes that he has a tail (he’s good folks) and invites a young reporter into his car for an exclusive interview and definitely not a trick. Just kidding, as soon as they’re in the car, Penguin screams at the reporter to disrobe so they can trade clothes. It’s a strange start to a new life of crime.
Gordon investigates a warehouse full of dead-ass gang members and it’s clear that someone’s covering their tracks. All of the gang members were looking at blueprints and they have more of those C4 boxes! Maybe it wasn’t Penguin that stole all of that C4? Gordon hears a clanging somewhere and he goes to investigate. From somewhere in the rafters, Gordon hears a heavily disguised voice telling him that he’s “not his enemy,” and to “not touch the bodies.” Then Bruceman throws some atmos into the room and escapes.
After the commercial, Gordon’s partner says that the bodies were rigged with C4, so it’s good that whoever that shadowy figure was told them not to touch the bodies. Because there’s only about 20 minutes left in the show, Gordon figures out that the C4 is going to be used to blow up Wayne Tower. On his way to … somewhere, Penguin surprises Gordon in the back of his car and makes him drive to the docks. He holds Gordon at gunpoint and they give some exposition about the whole Wayne Tower thing and even though Penguin is monologuing about how their story ends with the two of them, Gordon’s like, “Wait, so you didn’t break Ed out? Bye.” Then jumps in the river and swims away. It’s very funny.
At the Wayne Tower gala, Selina confronts Alfred about Bruce spying on her and BREAKING her HEART. However, she’s also dressed to the nines, so what’s the truth Selina? WHAT’S THE TRUTH? Selina clomps through the party where she sees a “mysterious” figure wearing a green suit covered in question marks (UGH) and runs into redhead Barbara. Green Riddle Man has, duh, kidnapped the Mayor who’s strapped with C4. Aside from his suit, Green Riddle Man is wearing green sunglasses because he’s the worst.
Lucius gets a minor amount of screen time before Alfred takes the stage to introduce the new building. Green Riddle Man watches from a closed circuit TV set up in the kitchen when Barbara pops up. They have a bad guy back and forth where she’s like, “Why are you blowing up the Mayor?” And Green Riddle Man is like, “Because I’m horrible.” Selina bonks him on the head with an iron bar and brings the Mayor out to the main floor. Everyone is evacuated and Gordon figures out where all the C4 is (in the middle of the room).
For one last time, our main characters have to defuse a completely insane bomb. It’s a model of the new Gotham with C4 that’s wired throughout the model. Jim, Lucius, the good doctor, Alfred, Selina, and Barbara have to work together to defuse the bomb. If it weren’t the series finale, I would call it tense. They cut the wire hidden inside a model of the old clock tower and then Lucius reminds everyone that the old clock tower exploded in Season 4.1 or whatever. Jim realizes who’s at the center of this whole thing and he’s not pleased. ALSO Green Riddle Man escaped, AND now Joker knows that his cover’s been blown.
Green Riddle Man and Penguin are reunited in the back of a limo just in time for a mysterious figure to land on their roof, causing the limo to crash. Penguin and Green Riddle man see “the bat” and they’re tied to a light post. Speaking of the bat, Lucius and Alfred quietly discuss working with Bruce on “his plan” for the city and they agree to never tell Gordon. Some friends they are.
Barbara brings her daughter to her old club to grab a gun when someone starts blasting “Crimson and Clover” through the PA. Oh hey, it’s Joker and Harley Quinn or whatever her name is. Joker looks fucking nuts and it’s great. Barb’s daughter attacks Joker so he shoots Barbara, who shoots Harley Quinn or Echo or whatever we’re calling her, and then Joker kills Harley Quinn or Echo or whatever we’re calling her. He kidnaps Barb’s daughter and tells her to give Jim a message – to meet him at Ace Chemicals or the girl dies.
SMASH CUT TO: Ace Chemicals. Joker is holding the girl by a rope above a vat of green chemicals. Gordon and Joker have an excellent back-and-forth that makes me want to see more of this Joker. I know that the rights to Batman on TV are all fucked up, but I think Cameron Monaghan does a bang-up job as the Joker and it’s a shame that he doesn’t get to do more with this character. If I’m ranking Jokers, he’s under Ledger and Nicholson, above Leto, and I’m not sure where he is with Romero or our huskiest Joker, Joaquin Phoenix. Still, a good Joker is he.
Joker, or Jack or Jay or whatever tells Gordon that he pretended to be brain dead until Bruce returned to the city and that he’s angry that the boy abandoned him. He tells Gordon that Bruce was the only thing he loves. He lets go of the rope holding the young Barbara, and stabs Gordon after he catches his daughter. But then! A mysterious shadow approaches and throws some kind of spinning bat knife into the hands of the Joker, and then knocks him on the head.
Later, Bullock and Gordon are talking about the “dude” who saved Gordon. They walk up to the roof so they can turn on the old spotlight. Gordon says that he invited Bruce to the fabulous turning on of a decade-old spotlight, but it’s Alfred who shows instead. He says Bruce is engaged, and Gordon’s like, “Don’t worry, I’m still going to be the police commissioner.”
Selina watches over the city and feels a mysterious presence watching her. Without turning around to look at Bruce, she gives him what-for about leaving without a word for a decade. She wanted him! Not to be protected! Then uh … a voice that’s definitely not David Mazouz is like “Hey boo, I love you, return the diamond,” and then he bats away.
AT THE SAME TIME, Penguin and Green Riddle Man escape from an armored van and they start planning to kill the mysterious force who told them to that Gotham is his city. Then they see a mysterious figure and they agree to fight the guy tomorrow.
Back on the roof with Alfred, Gordon, and Bullock, they see a guy dressed like a big rubber bat and it’s no one we’ve ever seen and I think it’s a CGI shot? It’s kind of disappointing, but that’s kind of par for the course for Gotham.
Now that Gotham’s over, how will I fill this void for Batman content (batent)? If only there were 85 Batman movies and cartoons coming out in the next two years. If you’ve read five years of Gotham recaps then you belong in Arkham Asylum, but so do I for watching five years of this damn show.
Guess who has new hair? Barbara! She’s got big ol’ head full of red hair. She’s far less uh … intense than she was for the last five years, but I guess that’s what a decade of being a tycoon will do to you.
Meanwhile in Arkham Asylum, Edward Nygma is giving some exposition to all the nutzos in the joint. Penguin’s getting out, duh, Jeremiah’s a vegetable, and they’ve both been imprisoned for about a decade. Nygma stabs Jeremiah in the leg, which makes the guards bag and tag him before a strange, female orderly ushers Jeremiah out of the main cell.
If you like exposition, then you’ll love this! At home with Doc Gordon nee Thompson, Jim shaves his mustache and has a glass of wine while discussing all the things that have changed in Gotham, specifically Selina. She’s no longer the teenage thief we know and love, now she’s a cat burglar who’s got Mission Impossible-esque laser-dodging skills and for some reason likes to remove her mask when she’s halfway through a job. Oh and she’s being played by a different actress and someone is watching her through a window and it’s probably Bruceman.
More exposition you say? Fine! Nygma escaped from Arkham and Bullock is on the hunt. He’s waylaid in an apartment by a guy who hands him a phone. The mystery person on the phone tells Bullock that he has to carry out some mystery task and then the guy that handed Bullock the phone shoots himself in the head. We’ve finally started our episode of Gotham.
Later, Bullock tells Gordon that he killed the guard (he didn’t!) and refuses to say anything about the phone call, even if it lands him in Blackgate. Gordon doesn’t believe that Bullock is guilty and he puts a tail on Penguin, and gives some vague orders to the rest of the cops. Why am I so invested in this? There’s no more Gotham! It’s as if its impermanence makes it compelling.
Nygma wakes up in an empty basement and finds a trunk full of C4 with a letter from Penguin that says, “Hey, you do you.” It’s a nice gesture from an old friend. I mean, OH MY GOD WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO DO!?
Speaking of Penguin, he’s released from prison dressed in a purple suit and monocle that’s similar to what he wore in Batman ’66. On his way to his car, he realizes that he has a tail (he’s good folks) and invites a young reporter into his car for an exclusive interview and definitely not a trick. Just kidding, as soon as they’re in the car, Penguin screams at the reporter to disrobe so they can trade clothes. It’s a strange start to a new life of crime.
Gordon investigates a warehouse full of dead-ass gang members and it’s clear that someone’s covering their tracks. All of the gang members were looking at blueprints and they have more of those C4 boxes! Maybe it wasn’t Penguin that stole all of that C4? Gordon hears a clanging somewhere and he goes to investigate. From somewhere in the rafters, Gordon hears a heavily disguised voice telling him that he’s “not his enemy,” and to “not touch the bodies.” Then Bruceman throws some atmos into the room and escapes.
After the commercial, Gordon’s partner says that the bodies were rigged with C4, so it’s good that whoever that shadowy figure was told them not to touch the bodies. Because there’s only about 20 minutes left in the show, Gordon figures out that the C4 is going to be used to blow up Wayne Tower. On his way to … somewhere, Penguin surprises Gordon in the back of his car and makes him drive to the docks. He holds Gordon at gunpoint and they give some exposition about the whole Wayne Tower thing and even though Penguin is monologuing about how their story ends with the two of them, Gordon’s like, “Wait, so you didn’t break Ed out? Bye.” Then jumps in the river and swims away. It’s very funny.
At the Wayne Tower gala, Selina confronts Alfred about Bruce spying on her and BREAKING her HEART. However, she’s also dressed to the nines, so what’s the truth Selina? WHAT’S THE TRUTH? Selina clomps through the party where she sees a “mysterious” figure wearing a green suit covered in question marks (UGH) and runs into redhead Barbara. Green Riddle Man has, duh, kidnapped the Mayor who’s strapped with C4. Aside from his suit, Green Riddle Man is wearing green sunglasses because he’s the worst.
Lucius gets a minor amount of screen time before Alfred takes the stage to introduce the new building. Green Riddle Man watches from a closed circuit TV set up in the kitchen when Barbara pops up. They have a bad guy back and forth where she’s like, “Why are you blowing up the Mayor?” And Green Riddle Man is like, “Because I’m horrible.” Selina bonks him on the head with an iron bar and brings the Mayor out to the main floor. Everyone is evacuated and Gordon figures out where all the C4 is (in the middle of the room).
For one last time, our main characters have to defuse a completely insane bomb. It’s a model of the new Gotham with C4 that’s wired throughout the model. Jim, Lucius, the good doctor, Alfred, Selina, and Barbara have to work together to defuse the bomb. If it weren’t the series finale, I would call it tense. They cut the wire hidden inside a model of the old clock tower and then Lucius reminds everyone that the old clock tower exploded in Season 4.1 or whatever. Jim realizes who’s at the center of this whole thing and he’s not pleased. ALSO Green Riddle Man escaped, AND now Joker knows that his cover’s been blown.
Green Riddle Man and Penguin are reunited in the back of a limo just in time for a mysterious figure to land on their roof, causing the limo to crash. Penguin and Green Riddle man see “the bat” and they’re tied to a light post. Speaking of the bat, Lucius and Alfred quietly discuss working with Bruce on “his plan” for the city and they agree to never tell Gordon. Some friends they are.
Barbara brings her daughter to her old club to grab a gun when someone starts blasting “Crimson and Clover” through the PA. Oh hey, it’s Joker and Harley Quinn or whatever her name is. Joker looks fucking nuts and it’s great. Barb’s daughter attacks Joker so he shoots Barbara, who shoots Harley Quinn or Echo or whatever we’re calling her, and then Joker kills Harley Quinn or Echo or whatever we’re calling her. He kidnaps Barb’s daughter and tells her to give Jim a message – to meet him at Ace Chemicals or the girl dies.
SMASH CUT TO: Ace Chemicals. Joker is holding the girl by a rope above a vat of green chemicals. Gordon and Joker have an excellent back-and-forth that makes me want to see more of this Joker. I know that the rights to Batman on TV are all fucked up, but I think Cameron Monaghan does a bang-up job as the Joker and it’s a shame that he doesn’t get to do more with this character. If I’m ranking Jokers, he’s under Ledger and Nicholson, above Leto, and I’m not sure where he is with Romero or our huskiest Joker, Joaquin Phoenix. Still, a good Joker is he.
Joker, or Jack or Jay or whatever tells Gordon that he pretended to be brain dead until Bruce returned to the city and that he’s angry that the boy abandoned him. He tells Gordon that Bruce was the only thing he loves. He lets go of the rope holding the young Barbara, and stabs Gordon after he catches his daughter. But then! A mysterious shadow approaches and throws some kind of spinning bat knife into the hands of the Joker, and then knocks him on the head.
Later, Bullock and Gordon are talking about the “dude” who saved Gordon. They walk up to the roof so they can turn on the old spotlight. Gordon says that he invited Bruce to the fabulous turning on of a decade-old spotlight, but it’s Alfred who shows instead. He says Bruce is engaged, and Gordon’s like, “Don’t worry, I’m still going to be the police commissioner.”
Selina watches over the city and feels a mysterious presence watching her. Without turning around to look at Bruce, she gives him what-for about leaving without a word for a decade. She wanted him! Not to be protected! Then uh … a voice that’s definitely not David Mazouz is like “Hey boo, I love you, return the diamond,” and then he bats away.
AT THE SAME TIME, Penguin and Green Riddle Man escape from an armored van and they start planning to kill the mysterious force who told them to that Gotham is his city. Then they see a mysterious figure and they agree to fight the guy tomorrow.
Back on the roof with Alfred, Gordon, and Bullock, they see a guy dressed like a big rubber bat and it’s no one we’ve ever seen and I think it’s a CGI shot? It’s kind of disappointing, but that’s kind of par for the course for Gotham.
Now that Gotham’s over, how will I fill this void for Batman content (batent)? If only there were 85 Batman movies and cartoons coming out in the next two years. If you’ve read five years of Gotham recaps then you belong in Arkham Asylum, but so do I for watching five years of this damn show.
