It’s finally come to an end. After six years of well-thought-out political intrigue, gritty realism, and plots twists that were both genuinely shocking and true to the characters, followed by two seasons of rushing to the finish line because the show runners got bored, we’ve gotten to the part where we can look back on it all and say, “What else is on?”
The final episode picks up pretty much where the last one left off, with everyone walking through a bunch of rubble and ash, confused about what just happened.
Tyrion takes a tour through the Red Keep and uncovers the dead bodies of his siblings. Word on the street has it that Nikolaj and Lena got paid a million bucks each for these little cameos, but the real question is how much did Ramin Djawadi get paid for the well-timed silence?
During the Lannister family reunion, Jon and Davos keep roaming the streets until they find Grey Worm and the Unsullied about to execute a bunch of surrendered Lannister soldiers. They try and tell them that this is quite literally overkill and if you’re going to rule a city there have to be a few people left alive in it, but the Unsullied pull their spears on Jon, and Davos tells him maybe they should talk to the queen before causing too much of a ruckus.
Arya’s pale horse disappears like the dream it probably was, and she watches as Jon makes his way up the stairs of the Red Keep where there’s a dragon banner hanging. Who was in charge of making sure that they had this handy for when they needed it? And did that person have to save it from a burning ship? Cuz if so, good job!
Dany shows up with Drogon behind her and it makes it look like she has dragon wings. Yes, yes, this was a very cool image. You can all stop reposting it on the internet now. I’m pretty sure everyone who cares saw it in the episode just like you did.
She makes a big speech about how they won the battle for King’s Landing and that’s great and all, but sitting around for a few seasons ruling Meereen was super boring, and she has no intention of doing the same thing again, so she gets the Unsullied and the Dothraki all excited about finding more stuff to conquer. I mean liberate. Po-tay-to po-tah-to, amiright?
Tyrion sidles up next to her thinking, for some reason, that now is a good time to talk about their professional disagreement. She seethes under her breath at him that he freed Jaime, and he stage whispers that she slaughtered a city. Then he throws away his Hand of the Queen pin, which immediately triggers a real awkward silence, and the Unsullied take him away.
Arya sneaks up on Jon, cuz sneaking up on people is kind of her thing. She warns him that Dany will probably kill him, and he makes his emo face at her before going to find Tyrion.
Tyrion basically tells him the same thing, and that she’ll probably kill his sisters too. Jon’s face has never been so emo.
He tells Tyrion that he can’t justify what Dany did, but then he proceeds to do so anyway. Then he shows Tyrion the tattoo on his forearm that says “Love is the death of duty,” and Tyrion, jealous that he didn’t think of the catchy thing first, turns it around and says that “Duty is the death of love.”
After their deep quote-off, Tyrion and Jon seem to come to an understanding, and Jon goes to see Dany again. He wakes up Drogon from his nap under a huge pile of ashes. Drogon sniffs him and then goes back to sleep. He’s an excellent guard dog.
Dany finally approaches the throne and it’s all covered in ash. Everybody who thought it was ash in her vision from Season 2 may now officially rub it in the face of everyone who thought it was snow. Jon approaches and Dany’s like, “This is a cool chair, huh?” And Jon’s like, “Please stop killing civilians and people who have already lost.” But Dany’s in a bubbly mood and she’s like, “Nah. I’m not gonna do that. Hey are we still broken up or do you wanna make out?” Jon is like “No, seriously. I don’t want to kill you. Can you please just be cool for a second?” And she’s like, “I know exactly what’s right and no one else does so I’m gonna keep burning everything until everyone agrees to do it my way.” And Jon is like, “Yeah ok, we can make out,” but then he stabs her!
Drogon wakes up immediately and torches the Iron Throne, because he understands that it was the lure of absolute power that really killed his mother, and also because the show runners have decided that after teasing us all these years with Ned and Robb and Catelyn, that the Starks are the main characters after all and the remaining ones must live at all costs! Drogon then picks up Dany in his talon and flies away.
After this some time passes. How much time? Enough time for all the important people in Westeros to get to King’s Landing from wherever they were. Enough time for Tyrion’s beard to get very unkempt. He’s brought to the dragon pit where there’s a council waiting made up of … well ... people whose presence makes varying degrees of sense. Let’s break it down:
● All 3 Starks, OK fine. The North is a big deal and needs representation.
● Robin Arryn all grown up but still needing to be babysat by Yonn Royce. Sure, I’ll allow it.
● Yara Greyjoy, naturally.
● Lord Gendry Baratheon of Storm’s End? Seriously? That’s actually a thing now? Although I guess the Storm Lands are one of the kingdoms … right? So it checks out. I think. What are the seven kingdoms again? And more importantly how in the world is it possible that he and Arya don’t get another moment? Someone find me that deleted scene stat!
● Brienne … um … I guess the island of Tarth is … a big deal? But she doesn’t run it. Where’s her dad?
● Davos … what?
● The nameless Prince of Dorne. Please just tell me who you are, my dude. A Martell cousin of some kind? The new leader that took office after a civil war side plot following the shit show that was Dorne in Season 5? The only guy who could keep his clothes on long enough to sit through this meeting?
● Sam Tarly … who is … Lord of Horn Hill now? I mean, I know he’s a fan favorite, but I have the same question as I did with Brienne. Is his family really important enough to be represented here?
● Edmure “I heard the party died after I left” Tully. Wow. There are no words.
Grey Worm is not even trying to mask his contempt for any of these people, and instead of standing quietly like a good solider, he makes his opinions very loudly known. Gotta hand it to this guy, he is just over it all and doesn’t care who knows it.
He announces that Jon Snow needs to die for killing the Queen, and Davos is like, “How bout you become Lord of the Reach instead?” Grey Worm looks at him like this is the most insane non sequitur he’s ever heard, and Tyrion breaths a sigh of relief that the Reach is still up for grabs and he can maybe slip it to Bronn without anyone noticing.
After that close call, Tyrion decides to take over the conversation as usual. Grey Worm has been unamused by this ever since Tyrion tried to get him to play drinking games in Meereen, and he’s about to snap, but somehow everyone else decides that listening to Tyrion is a great idea, like they always do. And even though someone else must have had an original agenda for this meeting, he proceeds to tell them exactly how the rest of world history is gonna go down.
First he tells them that it’s ridiculous that they don’t have a king or queen, and they should just pick one already. Edmure sees his moment and stands up to deliver the speech he’s been practicing in the mirror ever since he was a little boy. Sansa reminds him that half the audience didn’t even know who he was back when he was a pivotal plot point in Season 3, and he hasn’t been seen since, so there’s absolutely no way this is gonna happen.
Next, Sam briefly invents democracy, which all the others treat as a much-needed moment of levity before getting back to ideas they can actually take seriously.
Tyrion nominates Bran to be king, because he’s got all the wisdom of knowing literally everything. Then he says that when he dies, all the lords of the great houses will come back here and choose someone else rather than risk succession going wrong the way it always does eventually. He pays homage to Dany’s whole “break the wheel” thing, but this doesn’t buy him any favor with Grey Worm.
The group seems pretty OK with this, and they all vote aye, until it gets around to Sansa, who decides that she’s not gonna play, and the North is gonna do its own thing. A few people look at her like they want to change their votes, but no one fights her on it, and Bran gives her a nod.
Tyrion’s looking totally smug that he pulled this off, but Bran tells him since he got him into this, he has to be his Hand. Tyrion looks like he’d rather be executed by Drogon, but King Bran gives his order and there’s nothing he can do about it.
As his first official act as Hand of the King, Tyrion leaves Jon to rot in his prison cell for an extra day or two while he cleans himself up and gets some nice new clothes. He eventually lets him out, telling him that for killing Dany he’s been sentenced to join the Night’s Watch. Jon is like, “What the heck do we still need a Night’s Watch for?” and Tyrion is like, “Just go with it. It’s poetic that your character comes full circle.”
Jon whines that he’s not sure he did the right thing, and Tyrion reminds him that sometimes you just have to murder the woman you love. It’s all good.
Jon cleans himself up, sort of. He thankfully loses the man bun but it leaves him looking extra scruffy. As he makes his way through the city, he passes a bunch of Dothraki dudes. I guess they just live there now? I wonder how that cultural assimilation is going to go.
Grey Worm gives Jon a real dirty look as he gets all his guys on board a ship headed for Naath. Do they have a plan for when the get to Naath, or are they just gonna show up and be like, “Hey do you guys know Missandei? She said we could come over.”
Jon says a final goodbye to Team Stark. No one mentions Rickon. Arya announces that she’s going to sail west and find out what happens after all the maps end. If she discovers something else, are they gonna have to call it … Westereros?
Brienne finishes Jaime’s page in the book of Knight Accomplishments. We all cry a little.
Then it’s time for a small council meeting. Tyrion gets there first and arranges the chairs the way he wants them, then gets all upset when everyone messes them up.
Sam shows back up, having changed his clothes. I guess he’s Grand Maester now? But what about Gilly and the babies? Did the citadel roll back the vow of chastity thing? Also, I thought he was Lord of Horn Hill. Make up your mind, Sam!
The worst part about Sam, though, is that he brings a book with him that the Maesters have recently written. It’s about all the events starting with the death of King Robert. And … I … you guys, don’t make me say it. It’s … it’s called … A Song of Ice and Fire gaaah it’s too meta! Make it stop!
The rest of the Small Council consists of Davos, Master of Ships; Brienne, Commander of the King’s Guard; and of course Bronn, Lord Paramount of The Reach and Master of Coin. I can’t believe he actually pulled this off.
The king comes in, attending by Ser Podrick Payne, Royal Wheelchair Pusher, and everyone stands up, but they’re not sure when to sit back down since, ya know, the king is already sitting. Awkward.
Bran asks if anyone knows where Drogon is. No one does, so he decides he’ll try to find him with mind power and leaves immediately. Good meeting, everybody.
The rest of the group stays and hashes out how they’re gonna put the kingdom back together. Davos keeps the memory of Stannis the Mannis alive by correcting Bronn’s grammar, and somehow everything seems right with the world again.
Sam brings up some newly published if controversial research that pooping in your drinking water isn’t particularly healthy, and a better sewer system is put on the to-do list. Bronn wants to prioritize rebuilding the brothels, and the camera cuts away just as Tyrion’s about to deliver the punch line to his jackass and a honeycomb joke, as it always does.
Back up North, the series ends on a Stark family montage. Jon reunites with Tormund at Castle Black, and finally gives Ghost the love he deserves, now that his way cooler pet is dead and he has to settle.
Arya gets out her map and telescope and sails west like a badass.
Sansa gets all dressed up and lets her people do the thing they love most in the world, raising their swords in the air and yelling “Queen in the North!”
John, Tormund, and a bunch of wildlings go on a ranging party beyond the wall, where the snows are melting and there’s green stuff. That’s thematically nice and all, but maybe it doesn’t make a good direwolf habitat. Now I’m worried about good boy Ghost all over again, and also confused about the geographic rules of this world. I had kind of assumed that north of the Wall was north enough that it would pretty much be always frozen anyway. If this world doesn’t work like a planet in the way that ours does, then what does this mean for Arya? What if she sails right off the edge?
Much like what happened to the jackass and the honeycomb in the brothel though, we’re just not meant to know these answers. At least not until GRRM gets off his butt and finishes the books, but I wouldn’t suggest counting on that any time soon.
It’s been fun you guys. And now our watch has ended. Thanks so much for reading.
Tyrion takes a tour through the Red Keep and uncovers the dead bodies of his siblings. Word on the street has it that Nikolaj and Lena got paid a million bucks each for these little cameos, but the real question is how much did Ramin Djawadi get paid for the well-timed silence?
During the Lannister family reunion, Jon and Davos keep roaming the streets until they find Grey Worm and the Unsullied about to execute a bunch of surrendered Lannister soldiers. They try and tell them that this is quite literally overkill and if you’re going to rule a city there have to be a few people left alive in it, but the Unsullied pull their spears on Jon, and Davos tells him maybe they should talk to the queen before causing too much of a ruckus.
Arya’s pale horse disappears like the dream it probably was, and she watches as Jon makes his way up the stairs of the Red Keep where there’s a dragon banner hanging. Who was in charge of making sure that they had this handy for when they needed it? And did that person have to save it from a burning ship? Cuz if so, good job!
Dany shows up with Drogon behind her and it makes it look like she has dragon wings. Yes, yes, this was a very cool image. You can all stop reposting it on the internet now. I’m pretty sure everyone who cares saw it in the episode just like you did.
She makes a big speech about how they won the battle for King’s Landing and that’s great and all, but sitting around for a few seasons ruling Meereen was super boring, and she has no intention of doing the same thing again, so she gets the Unsullied and the Dothraki all excited about finding more stuff to conquer. I mean liberate. Po-tay-to po-tah-to, amiright?
Tyrion sidles up next to her thinking, for some reason, that now is a good time to talk about their professional disagreement. She seethes under her breath at him that he freed Jaime, and he stage whispers that she slaughtered a city. Then he throws away his Hand of the Queen pin, which immediately triggers a real awkward silence, and the Unsullied take him away.
Arya sneaks up on Jon, cuz sneaking up on people is kind of her thing. She warns him that Dany will probably kill him, and he makes his emo face at her before going to find Tyrion.
Tyrion basically tells him the same thing, and that she’ll probably kill his sisters too. Jon’s face has never been so emo.
He tells Tyrion that he can’t justify what Dany did, but then he proceeds to do so anyway. Then he shows Tyrion the tattoo on his forearm that says “Love is the death of duty,” and Tyrion, jealous that he didn’t think of the catchy thing first, turns it around and says that “Duty is the death of love.”
After their deep quote-off, Tyrion and Jon seem to come to an understanding, and Jon goes to see Dany again. He wakes up Drogon from his nap under a huge pile of ashes. Drogon sniffs him and then goes back to sleep. He’s an excellent guard dog.
Dany finally approaches the throne and it’s all covered in ash. Everybody who thought it was ash in her vision from Season 2 may now officially rub it in the face of everyone who thought it was snow. Jon approaches and Dany’s like, “This is a cool chair, huh?” And Jon’s like, “Please stop killing civilians and people who have already lost.” But Dany’s in a bubbly mood and she’s like, “Nah. I’m not gonna do that. Hey are we still broken up or do you wanna make out?” Jon is like “No, seriously. I don’t want to kill you. Can you please just be cool for a second?” And she’s like, “I know exactly what’s right and no one else does so I’m gonna keep burning everything until everyone agrees to do it my way.” And Jon is like, “Yeah ok, we can make out,” but then he stabs her!
Drogon wakes up immediately and torches the Iron Throne, because he understands that it was the lure of absolute power that really killed his mother, and also because the show runners have decided that after teasing us all these years with Ned and Robb and Catelyn, that the Starks are the main characters after all and the remaining ones must live at all costs! Drogon then picks up Dany in his talon and flies away.
After this some time passes. How much time? Enough time for all the important people in Westeros to get to King’s Landing from wherever they were. Enough time for Tyrion’s beard to get very unkempt. He’s brought to the dragon pit where there’s a council waiting made up of … well ... people whose presence makes varying degrees of sense. Let’s break it down:
● All 3 Starks, OK fine. The North is a big deal and needs representation.
● Robin Arryn all grown up but still needing to be babysat by Yonn Royce. Sure, I’ll allow it.
● Yara Greyjoy, naturally.
● Lord Gendry Baratheon of Storm’s End? Seriously? That’s actually a thing now? Although I guess the Storm Lands are one of the kingdoms … right? So it checks out. I think. What are the seven kingdoms again? And more importantly how in the world is it possible that he and Arya don’t get another moment? Someone find me that deleted scene stat!
● Brienne … um … I guess the island of Tarth is … a big deal? But she doesn’t run it. Where’s her dad?
● Davos … what?
● The nameless Prince of Dorne. Please just tell me who you are, my dude. A Martell cousin of some kind? The new leader that took office after a civil war side plot following the shit show that was Dorne in Season 5? The only guy who could keep his clothes on long enough to sit through this meeting?
● Sam Tarly … who is … Lord of Horn Hill now? I mean, I know he’s a fan favorite, but I have the same question as I did with Brienne. Is his family really important enough to be represented here?
● Edmure “I heard the party died after I left” Tully. Wow. There are no words.
Grey Worm is not even trying to mask his contempt for any of these people, and instead of standing quietly like a good solider, he makes his opinions very loudly known. Gotta hand it to this guy, he is just over it all and doesn’t care who knows it.
He announces that Jon Snow needs to die for killing the Queen, and Davos is like, “How bout you become Lord of the Reach instead?” Grey Worm looks at him like this is the most insane non sequitur he’s ever heard, and Tyrion breaths a sigh of relief that the Reach is still up for grabs and he can maybe slip it to Bronn without anyone noticing.
After that close call, Tyrion decides to take over the conversation as usual. Grey Worm has been unamused by this ever since Tyrion tried to get him to play drinking games in Meereen, and he’s about to snap, but somehow everyone else decides that listening to Tyrion is a great idea, like they always do. And even though someone else must have had an original agenda for this meeting, he proceeds to tell them exactly how the rest of world history is gonna go down.
First he tells them that it’s ridiculous that they don’t have a king or queen, and they should just pick one already. Edmure sees his moment and stands up to deliver the speech he’s been practicing in the mirror ever since he was a little boy. Sansa reminds him that half the audience didn’t even know who he was back when he was a pivotal plot point in Season 3, and he hasn’t been seen since, so there’s absolutely no way this is gonna happen.
Next, Sam briefly invents democracy, which all the others treat as a much-needed moment of levity before getting back to ideas they can actually take seriously.
Tyrion nominates Bran to be king, because he’s got all the wisdom of knowing literally everything. Then he says that when he dies, all the lords of the great houses will come back here and choose someone else rather than risk succession going wrong the way it always does eventually. He pays homage to Dany’s whole “break the wheel” thing, but this doesn’t buy him any favor with Grey Worm.
The group seems pretty OK with this, and they all vote aye, until it gets around to Sansa, who decides that she’s not gonna play, and the North is gonna do its own thing. A few people look at her like they want to change their votes, but no one fights her on it, and Bran gives her a nod.
Tyrion’s looking totally smug that he pulled this off, but Bran tells him since he got him into this, he has to be his Hand. Tyrion looks like he’d rather be executed by Drogon, but King Bran gives his order and there’s nothing he can do about it.
As his first official act as Hand of the King, Tyrion leaves Jon to rot in his prison cell for an extra day or two while he cleans himself up and gets some nice new clothes. He eventually lets him out, telling him that for killing Dany he’s been sentenced to join the Night’s Watch. Jon is like, “What the heck do we still need a Night’s Watch for?” and Tyrion is like, “Just go with it. It’s poetic that your character comes full circle.”
Jon whines that he’s not sure he did the right thing, and Tyrion reminds him that sometimes you just have to murder the woman you love. It’s all good.
Jon cleans himself up, sort of. He thankfully loses the man bun but it leaves him looking extra scruffy. As he makes his way through the city, he passes a bunch of Dothraki dudes. I guess they just live there now? I wonder how that cultural assimilation is going to go.
Grey Worm gives Jon a real dirty look as he gets all his guys on board a ship headed for Naath. Do they have a plan for when the get to Naath, or are they just gonna show up and be like, “Hey do you guys know Missandei? She said we could come over.”
Jon says a final goodbye to Team Stark. No one mentions Rickon. Arya announces that she’s going to sail west and find out what happens after all the maps end. If she discovers something else, are they gonna have to call it … Westereros?
Brienne finishes Jaime’s page in the book of Knight Accomplishments. We all cry a little.
Then it’s time for a small council meeting. Tyrion gets there first and arranges the chairs the way he wants them, then gets all upset when everyone messes them up.
Sam shows back up, having changed his clothes. I guess he’s Grand Maester now? But what about Gilly and the babies? Did the citadel roll back the vow of chastity thing? Also, I thought he was Lord of Horn Hill. Make up your mind, Sam!
The worst part about Sam, though, is that he brings a book with him that the Maesters have recently written. It’s about all the events starting with the death of King Robert. And … I … you guys, don’t make me say it. It’s … it’s called … A Song of Ice and Fire gaaah it’s too meta! Make it stop!
The rest of the Small Council consists of Davos, Master of Ships; Brienne, Commander of the King’s Guard; and of course Bronn, Lord Paramount of The Reach and Master of Coin. I can’t believe he actually pulled this off.
The king comes in, attending by Ser Podrick Payne, Royal Wheelchair Pusher, and everyone stands up, but they’re not sure when to sit back down since, ya know, the king is already sitting. Awkward.
Bran asks if anyone knows where Drogon is. No one does, so he decides he’ll try to find him with mind power and leaves immediately. Good meeting, everybody.
The rest of the group stays and hashes out how they’re gonna put the kingdom back together. Davos keeps the memory of Stannis the Mannis alive by correcting Bronn’s grammar, and somehow everything seems right with the world again.
Sam brings up some newly published if controversial research that pooping in your drinking water isn’t particularly healthy, and a better sewer system is put on the to-do list. Bronn wants to prioritize rebuilding the brothels, and the camera cuts away just as Tyrion’s about to deliver the punch line to his jackass and a honeycomb joke, as it always does.
Back up North, the series ends on a Stark family montage. Jon reunites with Tormund at Castle Black, and finally gives Ghost the love he deserves, now that his way cooler pet is dead and he has to settle.
Arya gets out her map and telescope and sails west like a badass.
Sansa gets all dressed up and lets her people do the thing they love most in the world, raising their swords in the air and yelling “Queen in the North!”
John, Tormund, and a bunch of wildlings go on a ranging party beyond the wall, where the snows are melting and there’s green stuff. That’s thematically nice and all, but maybe it doesn’t make a good direwolf habitat. Now I’m worried about good boy Ghost all over again, and also confused about the geographic rules of this world. I had kind of assumed that north of the Wall was north enough that it would pretty much be always frozen anyway. If this world doesn’t work like a planet in the way that ours does, then what does this mean for Arya? What if she sails right off the edge?
Much like what happened to the jackass and the honeycomb in the brothel though, we’re just not meant to know these answers. At least not until GRRM gets off his butt and finishes the books, but I wouldn’t suggest counting on that any time soon.
It’s been fun you guys. And now our watch has ended. Thanks so much for reading.
